Today marks 19 weeks in my journey to motherhood. In exactly one week I will be at the halfway point of pregnancy and having my 20 week ultrasound where my baby’s gender will be no longer a mystery and I will get to see their sweet face for one last time until May (provided no complications arise). While this time is a very joyous one for me and my family, it is also one of fears and uncertainty. Below I will share my top five fears on this journey.
5. Breastfeeding. What if I can’t? What if it is too painful? What if the baby simply will not latch on? This could be a huge deciding factor on the health of my dear babe and I do not know what exactly to expect or even how to prepare for it. I trust my body is doing its part though, at least my new cup-size is telling me so.
4. A Strangers Touch. While watching last week’s Office, I could totally relate to the t-shirt Ryan and Kelly bought for Angela that read “Ask, Then Touch.” I’ve had a couple encounters with belly fondling so far, and it is shocking, and uncomfortable. I hope boundaries are more common once the protective layer of belly is no longer shielding my wee one.
3. Body Changes. Speaking of my new cup-size, what happens when all the milk is drained from my once previously perky parts? (WAIT, DON’T ANSWER THAT!!) We all know there are changes that happen when a woman becomes a mother, that will forever leave their mark on their bodies. I’m just hoping mine aren’t stretch marks and a triple chin.
2. Dropping/Hurting the Baby. I am a klutz by nature, not coordinated at all. I have the bruises to prove it. I’m constantly knocking into things, dropping things, and tripping over my own feet (especially now that I can’t see them). But what happens when I have an uh-oh moment with a tiny person? Let’s hope there isn’t permanent damage. Hey! Maybe that is how I became a klutz in the first place?
1. Giving Birth. I am not only a huge klutz, but also a huge wimp! I’ve been known to cry over a menstrual cramp, so how will I ever find the strength to have a natural birth? Yes it has been done since life existed, and yes I am created as a woman to handle this, but that doesn’t mean the thought doesn’t scare me to pieces.
I’m sure I could make a list of 100 (or maybe 1,000) fears, but this pretty much sums up the top fears at the moment. I can effortlessly put together the nursery, but I still can’t figure out how to solve these fears. Any Mom’s or Mom’s-to-be with similar fears? Is there something more terrifying that I haven’t thought of? Any advice to calm those nerves? Or keep away the strangers wanting to rub your belly?
I would love to hear from you!